#14 June email “The beginning”
I just watched my dad pull off in the car… He just went to the store with Fred, but I’m beginning to miss him already. He leaves tonight and my heart is starting to get sad. We don’t share those feelings too often and when we do it’s a little weird, but the feeling is still there. I have learned so much about my dad, myself and God these past two weeks. So many questions I have lived with for the past thirty years are beginning to make sense. Parts of me that were wounded for so long are beginning to heal. Beginning… I’ve written that MANY times in this paragraph, but that is what this is… the beginning.
I am beginning to look at my life, my relationships, my wants, my needs and my God differently. Through many questions and searching, I am beginning to see more clearly. I am thankful for your responses to my emails I have sent out. Thank you for reading them and praying for us. I wish I could say that I would have been as supportive, but I’m not convinced. So many of you have poured out your heart to me in encouraging words and love. You have attempted to comfort me with the struggles I’m having with the poverty here. I am very grateful for your hearts and love for me. But, I’m beginning to struggle even more… and… I’m so thankful for this struggle!!!! When someone in my family is struggling or hurting, I want to help. I don’t just stand back and say, “Well, I love them. That’s enough!” Now, there are times when I can’t help and all I CAN do is love and pray. But, we act when we can.
These people have become my family. I CAN act. I MUST. I want to share something with you…
“For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened, but that as a matter of fairness your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness. As it is written, ‘Whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.’” 2 Corinthians 8:13-15
I encourage you to read all of 2 Corinthians 8. In the NKJV, “fairness” is translated as EQUALITY. Something isn’t adding up…
I know this is not pleasant for some. Heck! This isn’t pleasant for me either!!!! As a matter of fact, I’ve already had one ask to be taken off this email list. And… I EXPECT others to act differently toward me after this trip. And… I look forward to what God has in store for me… and you! We are called to a different standard! We are called to love others the way Jesus did. I have been asking God to open my eyes to see His children the way He does. To use me. And He is so faithful… In doing so, He’s restored my relationship with my father, given me more beautiful brothers and sisters, given me the courage to truly share my heart with you, given me a desire to spend meaningful time with Him AND answered my prayer. So, He not only answered my prayer, He blessed me richly for having the heart to do His will. How great is our God!?!?!?!
I love you all more than you’ll ever know. I’m overflowing with love and blessings. I have cried tears of joy and sorrow on a daily basis… and I’m so thankful. Thank you again for your love and prayers. I am so excited to walk this road with you. I only know what the NEXT step is, but the possibilities are so AMAZING! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I leave for Godfrey’s at 4:00 PM and Dad leaves for the airport tonight. Please pray for his safe travels and a beautiful reunion with our family in Tennessee. Please pray for me to be helpful to Godfrey and his family. They would NEVER admit that I would be a burden in any way. So, please pray that I may bless them as much as they will bless me. (I may not be able to email until I get back in the States. Godfrey has a computer, but we’ll have to see…)
Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am praying for you and hope God is blessing you richly in your time with Him. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8
L O V E and B L E S S I N G S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unimaginably thankful to be His,